my life... here and beyond

Maligaya na sila

2005-05-03T07:31:00.000-07:00

Marami or lahat sa mga kaibigan ko ay masaya.... BREAK NA KAMI...... sila, masaya, ako? HINDI......

Waiting in Vain

2005-04-26T05:54:00.000-07:00

Para kay Rommel to... ayoko ng hintayin ang pagmamahal nya, ayoko ng hintayin na magbago sya... ayoko ng masira ang ulo ko...

I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
Bob Marley

I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
FROM THE VERY FIRST TIME
I BLESSED MY EYES ON YOU GIRL
MY HEART SAYS FOLLOW THROUGH
BUT I KNOW NOW THAT I'M
WAY DOWN ON YOUR LINE
BUT THE WAITING FEEL IS FINE
SO DON'T TREAT ME LIKE A
PUPPET ON A STRING
'CAUSE I KNOW HOW TO DO MY THING
DON'T TALK TO ME AS
IF YOU THINK I'M DUMB
I WANNA KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE GONNA COME
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
'CAUSE SUMMER IS HERE
I'M STILL WAITING THERE
WINTER IS HERE
AND I'M STILL WAITING THERE
solo
LIKE I SAID
ITS BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE I'M
KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR
AND I STILL CAN KNOCK SOME MORE
OH GIRL OH GIRL
IS IT REASONABLE I WANNA KNOW NOW
FOR I TO KNOCK SOME MORE
YOU SEE
IN LIFE I KNOW
THERE'S LOTS OF GRIEF
BUT YOUR LOVE IS MY RELIEF
TEARS IN MY EYES burn
TEARS IN MY EYES burn
WHILE I'M WAITING WHILE
WHILE I'M WAITING FOR MY TURN
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE
I DON'T WANNA I DON'T WANNA
I DON'T WANNA I DON'T WANNA
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN
I DON'T WANNA I DON'T WANNA
I DON'T WANNA I DON'T WANNA
I DON'T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN
ITS YOUR LOVE THAT I'M WAITING ON
ITS MY LOVE THAT YOU'RE RUNNING FROM
ITS YOUR LOVE THAT I'M WAITING ON
ITS MY LOVE THAT YOU'RE RUNNING FROM

brick....

2005-04-26T05:45:00.000-07:00

Pang-emote tong song na to, really like this song!

Brick
Ben Folds Five

6am, day after Christmas.
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold, car seat is freezing.
The world is sleeping, I am numb
Up the stairs, to her apartment, she is balled up on the couch.
Her Mum and Dad went down to Charlotte, they're not home to find us out.
And we drive.
Now that I have found someone,
I'm feeling more alone
Then I ever have before...
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly,
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere.
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly...
They call her name at 7:30,
I pace around the parking lot.
Then I walk down, to buy her flowers, and sell some gifts that I got.
Can't you see, It's not me you're dying for.
Now she's feeling more alone then she ever has before...
Chorus
As weeks went by, it showed that she was not fine.
They told me, "Son it's time to tell the truth".
She broke down, and I broke down, cause I was tired of lying.
Driving home, to her apartment, for the moment, we're alone.
She's alone, I'm alone, Now I know it...
Chorus

five whatevers

2005-04-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

I got this from Reich's blog:

FIVE DREAM JOBS~ lawyer... singer... forensic agent... news reporter... housewife (?)

FIVE FILMS I WATCH OVER AND OVER~ Titanic... 50 First Dates... Harry Potter... Lord of the Rings... Red Dragon..

SONGS I CAN LISTEN TO AGAIN AND AGAIN~ You'll Be Safe Here... Bilanggo... KLSP... Halaga... Ulan...

FIVE BOOKS I READ FROM COVER TO COVER ~ Mayfair Witches... Red Dragon... Penal Code of the Philippines... Harry Potter

FIVE REASONS TO WATCH TELEVISION ~ Since I am living alone, TV lang ang kaulayaw ko sa magdamag... It lulls me to sleep... May Game Ka na Ba... Extra Challenge... Will and Grace

FIVE PLACES I WANT TO VISIT~ Egypt... Greece... Paris... U.S... Mallorca, Spain

FIVE BANDS/SINGERS I LIKE~ RiverMaya... Garbage... Parokya ni Edgar... Mike Francis... Madonna

FIVE BEVERAGES ~ ice cold water... tang orange juice... green tea frap... coke... zesto orange

FIVE HOBBIES~ sleeping... watching movies... eating... cooking... thinking of crazy stuff

song ko at sa lahat na naniniwala that they are strong

2005-04-25T06:08:00.000-07:00

Strong
Robbie Williams

My breath smells of a thousand fags
And when I'm drunk I dance like me
DadI've started to dress a bit like him
Early morning when I wake upI look like
Kiss but without the make upAnd that's a good line to take it to
The bridge
And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow so beforeI'm old I'll confess
You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song
My bed's full of takeaways and fantasies
Of easy lays
The pause button's broke on my video
And is this real cos I feel fake
Oprah Winfrey Ricki Lake
Teach me things I don't need to know
And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And it's starting to show so beforeI'm old I'll confess
You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song
If I did it all again I'd be a nun
The rain was never cold when I was young
I'm still young we're still young
Life's too short to be afraid
Step inside the sunAnd you know and you know
Cos my life's a messAnd I'm trying to grow
And you know and you know

weekend spent in hell

2005-04-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

A lot of things happened during the weekend, I mean a lot! Saturday, Rommel went to my house. He was asking me if I do miss him, of course, I said no. Discoveries again... May dala kasing bag si Rommel that day. Ewan ko, talaga atang since naging kami, naging NBI agent ako. At first, I saw this communication radio on his bag together with 2 shirts. Yun yung radio na ginagamit ng mga security guard. Of course, hindi security guard si Rommel. Sa radio, there was this sticker wiht the company's name that he is working for: CONMECH. So, deadma na since dati ko pa nga nalaman that he has a job although ayaw nya talagang aminin. Here's the most painful thing. One of his girls, si Aydz, the one who's working as a caregiver sa Canada and pamangkin ng asawa ng tito nya sent him a greeting card. I took it. Yep, stole it from him. I know, invasion of privacy, theft, I could be sued for that, but the thing is he wouldn't be asking me where the card is since he is keeping it from me. Saka he trusts me a lot. There are 3 pictures enclosed sa card, 1 taken with a baby, 1 sa street sa Canada during winter, the other one was a 2x2 pic pero cutout lang. So here's what the card says:

Dearest Rommel,

Baby, I miss you a lot... wish you were here. I miss everything about you. I do hope na mag-work out ang relationship natin even if we were miles, miles away!

Just want to let you know that I had fun spending time with you. I'll always be here for you.

I cut the other pix coz my belly is out. Masyado yung liberated. It was taken before my vacation dyan sa 'Pinas. I'll send you more next time, ok?

Take care and God bless.

Aydz

At the other flap of the card, here's what's written:

Baby,

... you're in my thoughts- today and always!

I love you.

Baby

It was sent March 3 and he received it March 18 sa address nya sa Pampanga. My intitial reaction was, tangina, galit na galit ako kay Aydz. But after reading the card for a billion of times, napunit ko na nga yung card e, naawa ako sa kanya. I was thinking kasi ako nandito sa Pilipinas, not because Rommel and I can spend and is spending time together, but the thing is at least ako, kahit paano alam ko ang pinaggagagawa ni Rommel. Kasi based from what she wrote, it looks like asang-asa sya na sya lang and loyal sa kanya si Rommel. Goodluck na lang sa kanya! Eh kung ako nga na nandito sa Pilipinas, di pa kaya ni Rommel na magtino, sa kanya pa! At goodluck naman sa akin dahil baby din ang tawagan nila!

Ang sakit-sakit when I was reading the card. I know of her existence pero iba pala talaga ang feeling kapag may substantial evidence in your hands. Ang sabi Rommel sa akin before, gf nya daw si Aydz pero sa text and phone lang. Ha! Should I still believe that? To those who regularly check my blog, you can check her friendster account, search for Aydz Diaz and tell me what you think.

That was just an ordinary Saturday, pero super ramdam nya na talaga na I am starting to be cold to him, na napupuno na ako. He was extra sweet and caring. We also had a really serious conversation, one of the very few that we had. Here's our convo:

Rommel: 'be, thank you sa lahat ng ginagawa mo for me ha?

Des: Ok lang....

Rommel: Baka naman dumating yung time na isumbat mo sa akin lahat.

Des: Bakit ko naman isusumbat eh hindi naman ako ganun.

Rommel: Eh ano namang kapalit ng lahat ng yan?

Des: Hindi mo naman kayang ibigay ang gusto ko. Hindi mo naman kayang maging loyal sa akin eh. I just want you to be honest.

Rommel: Panong honest?

Des: Like if I ask you something, tell me the truth, just say yes or no.

Actually, may leeway pa nga eh. If magsisinungaling sya, just say yes or no. Don't make up any stories. Alam ko tanga ako pero hindi ako bobo. Nagyaya ngapala syang uminom eh I don't drink beer, so Gilbey's and orange juice kami. Eh hindi pala sya umiinom non. Dahil sa sama ng loob ko, ayun, nagpaka-lango ako sa alak, half of the big pitcher, naubos ko. Kaya eto, my body is full of rashes na naman!

Sunday morning, he is asking me to prepare breakfast, sabi ko baba na lang sya, sya na magluto. He said bakit ganun daw, di ko na sya inaasikaso. I told him that that would be the last day that we're gonna be together. Ayaw nyang pumayag, he said that he will be back next week. I asked him, what if I break up with him. Here's what he said:

Rommel: Syempre, iisipin ko kung anong nagawa ko sa yo (Good luck! Di mo pa din alam?), pag di mo na kasi ako pinapunta dito, pag wala ka, as if I'm missing a body part. Ayokong mawala ka sa akin.

During breakfast, I was fishing for some information. Here's the conversation:

Des: Kelan mo ba ko ile-let go? Ayoko kasi na ako ang magle-let go sa yo eh... (of course, I asked this to just fish for info)

Rommel: Naku, matagal pa yun.

Des: O?

Rommel: Kapag nag-asawa na ako, kasi ayaw mo naman na habang may asawa ako tayo pa din. Ayaw mo namang maging abay sa kasal ko. Pero ang pagiging ninang ng anak ko, yun ang di mo pwedeng tanggihan.

Tangina! Isama mo naman sana ako sa mga pangarap mo! Di ko alam if I wrote here na we were able to get a bulldog from an old classmate of mine. Sabi ko pag nabigay ko na sa kanya yun, we're over. That was supposed to be delivered Sunday morning, pero unfortunately the dog died. Ayun, depress-depressan sya ngayon, brat kasi yun, when you say something that you would do, you should do it.

That's what happened sa weekend ko. Kami pa din ba? Oo siguro. The reason why I couldn't let go of him yet is gusto ko talaga yung wala na akong feelings for him, para wala ng what if's, yung before kami maghiwalay, naka-move on na ako. Para di na ako iiyak. Because of him, mahihirapan na akong magtiwala at magmahal ulit.

song ko ngayon...

2005-04-25T04:12:00.000-07:00

finally... di ko talaga mahanap sa internet ang lyrics ng bilanggo, so since may cd nun yung bestfriend ko, pinagtyagaan ko talagang isulat ang lyrics. here it goes...

Bilanggo

Rizal Underground

Bilanggo, sa rehas na gawa ng puso mo

Bilanggo sa gapos na gawa ng pag-isip sa yo

Hanggang kailan pa ba magdaramdam

hanggang kailan pa ba masasaktan

Pag-isip sa yo, maging sa ganito at ganyan

Hanggang kailan pa ba maghihintay

Hindi ka ba nagsasawa Inday

Ang damdamin ko, kahit ganito katamlay

Tunay 'to 'bay

Bilanggo sa rehas na gawa ng uso mo

Bilanggo sa gapos na gawa ng pag-isip sa yo

Patay sindi sa init at lamig

Maging ang patalim madadaig

Galos sa dibdib tattoo ng yong mukha sa balat

Nakailang ulit na hiwalay

Hindi pa rin matutong sumabay

Ang damdamin ko

Kahit ganito katamlay

Saka ng babay

Bilanggo, sa rehas na gawa ng puso mo

Bilanggo sa gapos na gawa ng pag-isip sa yo

Bilanggo, sa rehas na gawa ng puso mo

Bilanggo sa gapos na gawa ng pag-isip sa yo

Bilanggo, sa rehas na gawa ng puso mo

Bilanggo sa gapos na gawa ng pag-isip sa yo

Bilanggo.... Bilanggo... Bilanggo....

wala pa ding kwenta

2005-04-22T02:34:00.000-07:00

i'm here at a computer rental sa may school. obviously, la pa ding trabaho kaya naglalamyerda pa din. inuman madalas kasama ang mga barkada. i received emails from the companies that i am applying for, kaya fully booked ako next week. sana naman di na puro interview lang, hopefully, i'll be signing a contract. tangina, bad trip ang buhay ko ngayon. excommunicated ako, my whole family is mad at me right now. akala kasi nila 1) i resigned sa PS out of whim 2) kaya ako hindi nakakapag-contribute sa house is because sinusustentuhan ko si rommel 3) they think na nakiki-pag live in ako kay rommel. bull crap lahat di ba? first of all, nag-resign ako sa PS kais i have very sound reasons, pero before i resigned, may back upo na na work. secone, pano ako makakapag-contribute sa expenses e la nga akong work at binubuhay lang ako ng mga brod ko sa frat ngayon? that is also the explanation kung bakit hindi ko sinusustentuhan si rommel at never will that happen. lastly, pano ako makikipag-live in sa isang gagong lalake? na baka minsan, pag-uwi ko sa bahay, baka may iba ng babae sa kwarto ko?

i am just so thankful for my friends, grabe! malas man ako sa career, sa family, sa lovelife, pero i always have my friends with me. sabi ni reich, i should kick rommel out of my system, yes friend, that will soon happen. eventually. i just want to make sure na kaya ko ng hiwalayan sya. kasi for me pag hiwalay, hiwalay na talaga. ayoko pa nung magkakabalikan pa kami, ayoko na ng nakipag-break ako tapos mamya, iiyak-iyak lang din ako. when it's over, it is really over with me.

may development naman. here are some of our conversations over the phone:

rommel: hi be...
des: hmmmm.... bakit?
rommel: miss mo ko? (tangina, pa-cute!)
des: eh bakit kita mami-miss (snickerimg..)
rommel: hindi nga?
des: tangina, hindi nga!

before, pag pupunta sya sa bahay pag saturday, gusto ko, friday pa lang nasa-bahay na sya. here's another phone convo, thursday night, which is kahapon pala:

rommel: be gusto mo bukas andyan na ko?
des: bahala ka...
rommel: di mo ba ko nami-miss?
des: tangina, hindi nga! sa saturday might, may inuman ang frat, sama ka.
rommel: wag na, sa bahay na lang tayo
des: e bakit dati pumayag ka na? bahala ka, basta aalis ako sa gabi
rommel: bakit ba? mas gusto mo pang makasama barkada mo?
des: talaga! bakit mo ba ayaw sumama?
rommel: baka ipabugbog mo ko, nararamdaman ko, napupuno ka na.
des: buti alam mo.

at least, ngayon, i let him feel that i am already fed up. malapit nang mag-end ang rommel chronicles....

2005-04-17T05:04:00.000-07:00

testi

2005-04-17T04:48:00.000-07:00

yung bestfriend kong si leah, ginawan ako ng testi, lyrics ng halaga ng parokya. napaka-fitting daw kasi sa katangahan ko. god, i am so thankful that i have a bestfriend like leah, 10 years na kami nyan! pag umiiyak ako, syempre about rommel, di ako tinitignan nyan, di daw kasi ako yun. kasi strong ako parati, pag nasasaktan ako, mas masakit daw sa kanya... hayyy.... eto lyrics ng halaga, namnamin... di ko kasi mahanap lyrics ng bilanggo ng rizal underground, yun kasi ang song for the moment ko...

Umiiyak ka na naman Langya talaga , wala ka bang ibang alam Namumugtong mga mata Kailan pa ba kaya ikaw magsasawa Sa problema na iyong pinapasan Hatid sayo ng boyfriend mong hindi mo maintindihanMay kwento kang pandrama na namanParang pang TV na walang katapusan Hanggang kailan ka bang ganyanHindi mo ba alam na walang pupuntahanAng pagtiyaga mo dyan sa boyfriend mong tanga Na wala nang ginagawa kundi ang paluhain ka Chorus:Sa libu-libong pagkakataon na tayoy nag-kasamaIilang ulit palang kitang makitang masayaNaiinis akong isipin na ginaganyan ka nyaSiguro ay hindi niya lang alam ang iyongTunay na halaga

wala pa din....

2005-04-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

wala pa ding nangyayari sa buhay ko, la pa ding work and everyday, nasusuklam na sa mga lalake. di na ko naniniwala sa fidelity (sa case ng mga lalake), well, i saw 5o first dates, i totally doubt that there is still a guy such as henry roth. eh kung lahat nga ng bodily functions ng babae e working 200%, si pa din kuntento yung guys, eh ganun pang may short term memory loss? eh di nagpyesta na ang boyfriend nun! bad trip nga pala ako sa meralco, my electric bill has gone up from P285.00 to P800.00! or baka may nakakakabit na jumper... that is yet to be discovered. leah went home na, nakakalungkot sa bahay, mag-isa lang ako. tangina, la na ngang pera, al pang work... or la kasin work kaya lang pera...haaaaayyyy.... sana grade 6 na lang ako ulit or high school para di ako namomoblema ng ganto....

tattoo...

2005-04-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

gusto ko na talagang magpa-tattoo. wala lang, lifetime dream ko lang. siguro para lang lumabas ang lahat ng agst sa katawan ko. nakapagpa-color na ko ngt hair (red), maayos na din ang kilay ko ngayon. tatoo na lang, mga tatlo. isa sa chest, isa sa may likod, isa sa lower back. angas.

so this is life

2005-04-12T06:32:00.000-07:00

hay naku, i'm totally in a wreck right now. like what was written on my previous blog, i am jobless. before leaving ps, i already passed eperformax and was scheduled for the training. i was hired as a verifier for gues what? EXPERIAN! well the job is pretty easy because we would just need to verify some info and stuff, plus for a change it is an outbound account. so there, kahit reyna ng katamaran e i went through 1 week of diction, intonation and enunciation training and i learned a lot, honestly. i aced the exams and voice recordings, came friday i didn't passed daw! FUCKER di ba? my batchmates are crying, so ironic kasi i remained cool. tangina, wala akong work! my batchmate was in the room when the american client came in, she heard that my trainer was forced to drop me off the list because... i came from experian! tangina, wouldn't that be an advantage? and it dawned to me that maybe is it because i know too much about the company. tangina di ba? bad trip talaga. fine, i don't care about the time that i spent kai keri lang, i enjoyed naman kasi my batchmates are so fun to be with and i learned a lot! pero the money that i spent during the training... bummer talaga!

anyway, about rommel, i'll be leaving him... soon! kasi here's what happened... he was at my house april 2. so his pants is at the other room, i was fixing it and his cellphone dropped off from the pocket. the last time that i checked his phone, naka-insert yung globe nya na sim and naka-sim lock yun, but this time yung sun ang gamit nya. so i was able to check out his phone. sa sent messages, i read this: (1st message) i miss you baby, i love you so much (2nd message) yah, luwas ako pero uwi din ako bukas, both were sent april 1. and putcha, those were not sent to me! i saved the number sa cell ko. his money were all scattered so i put them all in his wallet only to find out that on march 22 he pawned his ring at sampaloc! march 20 we were together and he said pauwi na sya ng pampanga! so what kind of a stupid person na sa sampaloc pa magsasangla... meaning nasa manila lang talaga sya. one more thing... he said that he still doesn't have a job. but when i fixed his bag, there is this letter that says... Engr. Aguirre, please make a bid for the following construction materials... dated April 1, 2005. FUCKER! di lang sya nasa manila, he has a job as well.

that night, i can not bear the fact that i am sleeping beside him, di ko na talaga maatim na he's hugging me while we were sleeping. usually, pag sunday, he goes home at around 5 pm, pero he said that he'll be going home early, around 8 am. dati pag uwi na sya, away na to, pinipilit kong wag na syang umuwi. but that sunday, i woke up at 6am, prepared na ang breakfast and didn't ask him when he will be coming back. that time, i only ate 1 piece of bread and coffee and yun lang ang kinain ko the whole sunday. and everything dawned to me. i'm always up for the effort that he is exerting, pero wala na lahat. meaningless na. dati plus factor that he calls me sa landline about 5 times a day considering that he's at "pampanga", pero la na sa kin yun. yung message pala, he sent that to aydz, yung isang girl nya na nasa canada. and lahat talaga ng aweet stuff that he does to me, la ng meaning, kasi naisip ko, ginagawa naman din nya yun sa iba e. that night, our dinner is tilapia nd pinaghihimay nya ko sa plate ko, wala ng kilig feeling, naiinis na lang ako. i cried so much, nakakainis kasi why does he have to lie to me? i mean i'll be happy that he already has a job, plus if nasa manila sya di naman ako mag-dedemand na magkita kami everyday!

bad trip kasi tanga na nga ako, lalo nya pa kong ginagawang tanga. my bestfriend stayed over my house for a the whole week, until now pala to share my pain and i really appreciate that. monday, just to confirm, i called their house at pampanga. i was able to talk to his mom, sabi ng mom nya lumuwas na daw ng manila that morning. i asked if may job na sya, she said yes. tangina talaga. i confronted him about this and he said that no, he's at pampanga and la pa din syang work, yeah, go on, convince me.

so why am i still holding on? i would be breaking up with him, pero di ko dapat biglain. dapat dahan dahan lang kasi magkakaron ako ng withdrawal syndrome, just like what happned to me and ia. what i am doing right now is lesser text messages , walang ganang kausap and cold shoulder, pansin nya nga yun e. sabi nya di nya daw akong kayang hiwalayan, maalaga daw kasi ako. whatever. i'll do it, slowly, but surely.

dami ko pang kwento, next post na lang.................

twisted life...

2005-04-11T02:34:00.000-07:00

wala... jobless, loveless. tangina, nothing seems to be going right with my life. i promise, i'll write a more extensive entry next time, lack of time lang kasi, basta to sum it all, my life is in a garbage bin right now... reich... contact info... cel. no. 09165653129, landline, 6578354.

come what may?

2005-03-13T16:33:00.000-08:00

Ay naku, ang hirap ng ganto! Since ang daming days na di ako naka-blog, ang dami tuloy nangyari, di ko alam how to start. First thing: I am endorsed na for termination, he he he... hu hu hu... I'm so scared! har har har! Sarcastic yun ha? Asar ako kay TM. When he gave my final written, of course, because of SAF. We didn't have any agreement, yung mga tipong 1 more absent and you're out. Tangina, when he talked to me bout the endorsement, he literally talked and never let me talk! He discussed the instances, call in ng absent ang half day? At yung kupal na yun, one time, nawalan ako ng boses at since ayaw nya kong ipag-process ng email, pinauwi nya ko. Ang gago, sinama pa yu sa SAF violation! I didn't violate anything coz he sent me home, if there's somebody who violated the SAF, it's him not me. Anyway, bahala syang panget na sya, kala nya takot ako sa kanya? Eh mi di ko nga ramdam ang presence nya as TL. Uunahan ko na sya, magfa-file na ko ng resignation, totohanan na ito. Kesa naman ma-terminate ako.

Sumasabog na naman ang utak ko ngayon, nangangatal na naman ang mga labi,para kasing isang kilong kape na ang naiinom ko pag restdays. Finals ko na mamya, kelangan pasok ulit ako sa DL para libre tuition fee next sem, 35thousand din yun. Di ko na alam, madalas na naman ang pag-atake ng pagiging crying lady dahil di ko na naman makabisado ang mga bagay tungkol sa rape, homicide, parricide at kung ano-ano pa! Super hate ko ang Obligations and Contracts! Buti na lang yung mga brod ko sa frat, maasahan, mas masisipag gumawa ng reviewer.
The past few days, Leah slept over my house, super saya talaga! We talked about our high school days and kung gano kasimple buhay namin. I have a book, this thing called "If Questions for Teens", we're not teens anymore but the questions are so cool. There's one question about love that made me cry. Leah is not looking at me, saying that she does not want to see me cry. She knows me as a really brave person, kaya panibago sa kanya ang umiiyak ako because of a guy.

At that point kasi, naawa ako sa sarili ko. I did everything, even the things that I wouldn't do ever in my whole life, I did for Rommel. My really close friends knows this. I wouldn't change myself or do unbelievable things unless I believe that it is so worth it or unless I really love that person. Honestly, I am happy right now. I could really see that may development kay Rommel. Di ko nakikita kung ano ang gusto kng makita, I can really see that he is changing now. Pero, surprisingly, I can not see myself living with him, or being his wife. Wala kasing peace of mind. I would always be worried na baka mangbabae na naman sya and ayoko ng ganong feeling, ang panget. So why am I staying in this "relationship"? Kasi masaya ako. Wala naman ibang nanliligaw, so why should I deprive myself of happiness. One time, I read Reich's blog entry about her husband. She said that her husband loves her the only way that he knows. Same here, Rommel shows me that he cares and that I am important to him the only way that he knows.
One time, when he was at my house, I have this Love Oracle Cards kasi, which is kinda freaky kasi major totoo yung mga sinasabi and consistent pa. I asked him to ask a question, tanong ba naman nya "Makikita ko pa ba sya?" I know that he is referring to Rain, I know that hindi nya pa din nage-get over yun. Ang sakit pakinggan, pero I understand him. Anong sabi nung cards sa kin? I asked if there would be a positive result regarding my sacrifices, if magiging serious na ba sya sa akin and if eventually we'll end up together. Iisa lang ang parating lumalabas na sagot: I should be patient and understanding. I am not completely relying on those cards, but, it's still something to think about.

Anyway, I already got rid of my long hair. I had a major hair cut. The almost waist long hair that I have is now just around 2 inches below my ear. Kakatawa nga yung bading na nag-gupit sa kin kasi he asked me thrice if I am really decided to have it cut. I said yes 4 times. Before kasi sabi ko, I wouldn't cut my hair unless I've already gotten over my ex. Well, I'm so over my ex.
Sarap mag-beach, la nga lang pera. Ano kaya talaga ang mangyayari sa life ko?

guess who's back...

2005-03-13T14:52:00.000-08:00

I have been an absentee blogger for such a long time. Bad trip kasi lately, sang milyon ang queue sa CS at di ako makasaingit ng what I call "my blog time". Ang dami ng nangyari sa life ko lately, so nakakatamad ng i-continue yung past blog ko. Anyway, almost 1 month na ko sa new house ko. The first week, geez, para akong tanga, naiiyak ako. As if di ako living away from my family for 2 years now. Well, my mom sleeps over my house, kasi nga first time na talagang alone ako sa house. Siguro naka-add din sa aking loneliness eh dahil sa first two days and first night ko dun eh kasama ko si Rommel, so maninibago talaga ako. It's not that di ako sanay mag-isa, pero the house is big for me. Rommel has really been extra sweet lately. Anyway, wag muna tungkol sa kanya. Almost one month na ko sa new house ko, and it's really fun. Nakabili na din ako ng tv ko so hindi lang cellphone, clothes, watches, at ang aking ever precious sandwich maker, ang tanging appliance na nabili ko (dati!) with my call center earnings. I have to sacrifice a lot coz I have lots of bills to pay, the rent, the electric bill, water bill, phone bill and of course my food. Ngayon, di na ko pwedeng magbukas ng iba't ibang bath soaps and use them depending on my mood, wala ng Chef D'Angelo after shifts, shampoo and conditioner? Sachets na lang, gone are the days that I could easily pour them from a bottle. Ngayon, kelangan ko pang guntingin ang mga sachet bago makaligo.

Last week, nasa SM Makati kami ng batchmate-friend-ka-team sa CS-at kapangalan na si Des. I was tightly shutting my eyes kasi I could see lots of clothes that I really want to buy. I saw this really cool Guess pants and I was like, oh my God, I can't buy that anymore. Unless I get a really high paying job or I get a DOM, he he he =) I have to sacrifice a lot, like buying new shoes, bags, watches, and other stuff. My favorite Kenzo Flower perfume is now substituted by Johnson's Baby Cologne Powder Mist. But then again, this is MY CHOICE and I am going to get through, ako pa!

On to my Rommel entry, last week, he slept over my house. My bestfriend Leah was still there when he arrived, it was actually my bestfriend's chance to meet him. Leah does not really like him, well, who would? Me, of course, he he he... I cooked for him as usual, his favorite and his request, sinigang na sugpo. He was so sweet and I was really shocked with the way he acted around Leah. Kasi when we are together and when we're eating, sya yung naglalagay ng food sa plate ko. Kahit andun si Leah, he still does that. He still makes me finish my food and we still drink in one glass. Leah does not really like him at all, but when she saw that he's so sweet, she texted me saying that he's so okay. Super sumakit yung head ko, so we were at the sala, he was sitting, my head is resting on his lap. Grabe, he was so sweet! He was massaging my head, he also held an ice pack on my forehead. Sabi nga ni Leah, she felt like she's my younger sister, yung tipong yung ate mo e may boyfriend at nandun sya sa bahay.

Ang pinaka-highlight talaga nung days na yun would be... walang nangyari sa amin. I mean, yeah, we didn't have sex. At first I was kinda worried, thinking that maybe he does not like me anymore. But then again, I thought that it is actually a good thing. For Rommel not to have sex with me! We all kow guys, lalo na pag bumiyahe pa papuntang Manila na walang aasahan. So feeling ko nasa ibang level na kami nun! He's really been extra sweet, we cuddle and snuggle a lot. When we are sleeping, he would rub my back, when we sleep in the afternoon, he put a pillow above our faces, he would plant butterfly kisses on my nose. He doesn't kiss me that much before, but when we sit side by side, he plants little kisses on my cheeks. Then he would jokingly say "Halik ni Hudas yun 'be" Of course, since he is the President of Mr. Mystery Club, I have to decipher what that means. I was thinking that he was trying to cover up his mushiness coz he's not used to being like that.

I told him that I'm sorta getting tired of our set-up, kinda testing the waters. Dati, whenever I say that, deadma lang sya and sinasabi nya lang na kaw bahala, but when I said that to him, he was asking why (as if hindi obvious!) and di na daw ba ako masaya with him. Honestly, major development talaga, like before, he wouldn't say that he misses me but now, he does that all the time. He doesn't call do miss calls but he this time he does, and when I ask him what's wrong, he would just say that he misses me. I know that I might be worried once again, but I already adopted this philosophy to just enjoy the moment. I hope that moment would last for a long time...

bagong buhay.........

2005-02-24T18:07:00.000-08:00

My life has been out of circulation for quite some time now. Busy kasi so better
get ready for a really long blog entry . I'll just have subsections of the days that
I was not able to write para mas organized. By the way, I'm officially closing my
Rommel Chronicles, la kasing sense, almost everything I write about is all about
him.

Thursday....

After our shift, Minen and I checked out her place, and the house is pretty cool.
I'm really excited about moving in, that will be on Saturday. While I am talking to
Minen about the house, Rommel texted me, gamitin ko daw yung Sun ko then call
him. Since I was busy talking to her, Rommel texted me once again asking if may
landline ba dun, there is, so I gave him the number. He called, unang sabi pa niya
eh... "Ba't ka ganyan? Parang di ka na interesado sa kin?" I was shocked, pero keri
lang. He asked about the specifics of the house, like if may tiles ba, how big are
the rooms, engineering stuff.

Friday.....

It was Jaycee's birthday. I was not finished packing my things, I realized,
sobrang dami ko na palang gamit. My mom and I are having troubles finding a
vehicle where I could load up all my stuff, kasi yung sasakyan sa bahay, ginamit
ng officemate ng tito ko. When I oved in sa San Juan 2 years ago, I only have a
few stuff na nagkasya sa cab, but now, grabe, I could fill up a jeep! Jaycee
texted me, asking me to go to Glorietta for his birthday. I bought him a CareBears
stuffed keychain, yung pareho naming gusto, si GoodLuck Bear. I was running late,
when I arrived at our meeting place, andun na si Nikki and Dandee, as well as
Jaycee of course. Putcha, di pala treat ni Jaycee! Tapos, punta kami ng
SuperBowl. We're aslo waiting for Jaycee's high school friends, a gay couple. I
feel like I'm Maricel Soriano, being surrounded by gay friends. But they are
funnny, witty, nice people. We ate a lot of food, it was som much fun coz I really
missed these people. When Jaycee's friends arrived, Jaycee finally gave in and
paid the bill. Nikki, Dandee and I rode the cab together, we dropped off Dandee
at Shaw Blvd, Nikki and I went home, well separately of course. It was a fun day.

Saturday....

The Day....Moving out of helll....Welcome heaven! Woke up really early to finish packing my stuff. My mom, Tito Duds and my bother arrived with a jeep. All of them are really
pised off because I have lots of things. So, we went to Pasig and as what I
expected, we got lost. But then again, we arrived at our destination. Inayos na
namin lahat ng gamit ko, I was really excited, but also tired. I cleaned up the
house, the CR and my bedroom. This is also the day that Rommel would be coming
over. At 6pm, we met at Galleria coz we're gonna do some grocery. We bought a
lot, ayaw nya ngang mag-cart so basket yung bitbit nya, e sa dami ng binili namin,
napilitan na syang mag-cart. I heard him murmuring, saying "Mom ko, di
pinapagawa sa akin to" and I was just laughing to myself. When we arrived at my
house, we had dinner and some usual stuff that we do. Sarap pala ng feeling when
you're with someone you love in a very unguarded moment since kaming dalawa
lang sa house. I cooked for him at syempre magaling akong magluto so bilib na
naman sya sa kin. Wifey talaga, he he he.... super daming sweet moments talaga.
During that day, di ko na nga lang inisip na meron syang ibang girls, para di
ma-spoil yung moment. That night, I saw messages on his cellphone, daming girls na
naman. Nawala na nga si Claire, meron namang Aydz (I searched for her sa
Friendster, chaka talaga! She's a caregiver sa Canada... ho hum...), merong Jane,
basta, 4 na girls yun. So, five na kami. Hay.... That night, nag-iinarte na nga ako,
tampo-tampo ever, bato-bato ng unan sa wall. Inis talaga ako nun. He asked me if
may problema daw ba dahil super sungit ko nun, I said, wala. Pero that night,
sinumpong na naman sya ng pagiging sweet nya. We were listening to my CD and
pareho pala naming favorite yung "You'll Be Safe Here" of RiverMaya. It's not
that nagpapa-cute ako or something pero just for conversation's sake, I told him
that once I told Nikki that if a guy would actually sing that song for me, I'll marry
that guy tomorrow. And Rommel was like "Grabe ka naman, 'be" And I was thinking, naku, baka isipin nya nag OA ko. And then Rommel said... "Eh di ko nga kabisado lyrics nyan eh..." Major aaawww (Reich, pwede ka ng kiligin!) So if kabisado nya yung lyrics, he would sing that for me. Another cute thing, well, some people might not find this cute, but since he was not able to bring his clothes, he wore my tshirt and shorts, he even askde me to shave his 2-day old stuble. But of course, may dark side na naman ang story ko.... To be continued..........

Rommel Chronicles3

2005-02-15T18:20:00.000-08:00

I know that I said that I wouldn't be writing about Rommel, but what the heck. Consider this as one of the Rommel Chronicles. He's really turned into a mushy person lately. Well, utang ko to sa pagsabog ng bus sa Ayala. He was the one who texted me about the bombing at Ayala. Tinanong nya ko if I pass by that road and if I ride the bus. Deadma! Kahit hindi ako dumadaan dun eh, sinasabi ko na dumadaan ako dun, pa-effect lang ba. Kaya ngayon, tinatanong nya tuloy ako if nakauwi na ba ako and if nakauwi na ba ako eh I should text him.

Also, after he said that close friend nya daw ako, he never says I love you anymore and he's not texting that to me. Pero lately, he's been texting me I love you's and this time nagtetext din sya nung "mwah". I even told him not to say I love you if he does not mean it. One time, he was so drunk, he texted I love you a couple of times. They say that when a guy is drunk, he is more sincere and that he lets his guard down. So does that mean that he means what he says? I also know that guys do the craziest stuff when they are drunk. So what's the real score.

I am feling guilty today. At around 10pm, he called me and asked me if I am going to work, I said yes of course. He said that he's right here at Manila coz his aunt ask him to come. And I was like, geez! Mag-absent na daw ako and I said that I really have to go to work reminding him that I already have a final written warning. I was really on the verge of calling forcedesk, yun nga lang, I still have to go to work coz I need a job lalo na ngayon na maglilipat pa ako ng bahay.

One time, Rommel and I are talking over the phone. I was about to hang up, but he's not putting the phone down. I asked him why does he wanna hang up and asked him why. Sabi ko pa, "May hinihintay ka ba na sasabihin ko? Are you waiting for me to say I love you?" (eto na naman at nag-morph ako sa pgiging NBI agent). And he replied, "Syempre, kahit paano....", I didn't let him finish his sentnce and said I love you. He said I love you too. Was my prayer answered?

Nikki... tribute ko sa yo

2005-02-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

Naku, boses bakla ako today (no pun intended!). My voice is so nasal and I so hate it! 4th day na kong pumapasok sa work, maybe that's why. Nikki went to the office this morning to file his resignation. When I saw him, I was on the verge of crying. It's really sad that one of your closest friends would be leaving the company. Sad, sad, sad. Des and I waited for Nikki and accompanied him sa Philam to process his resignation. Sad talaga, potah! Tagal naming naging friends nito, akala ko masungit, well, masungit talaga, pero syempre friend nya ko kaya nagsusungitan kami. =)

I remember those times nung teammates pa kami at andun kami nakaupo dun sa isolated area sa 29th. Kain kami ng kain, yung trash can namin, puno ng basura ng mga pagkain namin at kadiri dahil nagkakaron pa ng fruit flies sa station namin!

We talk about childhood stuff like we grew up together. When we hear old songs, alam kaagad namin kung anong grade kami nung elementary or kung anong year kami nung high school nung nauso nun, as if we came from the same school (from Lourdes sya, St. Joseph naman ako, parehong Franciscans). Trip din naming pag-usapan ang movies, expression nung panahon namin, mga taong epal, kupal, makapal, salitang balbal at kung ano-ano pa! Favorite namin ang Pringles at Piknik, pero na-addict kami talaga sa Clover Chips! Color yellow na nga madalas mga daliri namin.

Every Sunday naman, nung uso pa ang email processing at la pang email team, madalas, pinag-eemail kami ni Step. Major chikahan, complete with sounds kasi dati, pwede pa ding magdala ng cd's. We like the same kind of music, we like Madonna. At dahil dun kami sa isolated stations nakaupo, we can do evrything that we want, we even put customers on hold to doze off a bit!

Masarap kausap yan si Nikki pagdating sa okrayan. Enjoy kasama pag lafangan. Too bad, nalipat din sya ng team, but we still see each other, nung nasa retention ako, pag break and lunch. Kahit nung nalipat ako sa CS, we don't follow our luch sked, together with Jaycee at mega-McDo kami. We also go out pag restdays, pero lately, di na din ako nakakasama kasi busy-busyhan sa school.

God, I'll really miss Nikki. He's the person that you can talk to about everything under the sun...er... in our case. moon and stars. Nikki is an intelligent person, he is never judgmental. He'll take you for who you are and still love you. He accepts my stupidity and hard headedness. Teaches me lots of stuff, stuff that only Nikki and I should know. *evil wink*

Nikki is like a sister (?) that I never had. My confidant, my chika friend, my lafang friend, mall friend, movie friend... basta, my really really good friend. We are the bitches of the 29th floor and without Nikki, things will never be the same again.

Bye my friend... You'll be in greener pastures... You're so lucky! Always keep in touch. Love you girl!

dear diary... la na kong maisip na title eh!

2005-02-14T14:00:00.000-08:00

Putik, na-addict na nga ata ako sa blogging. Wala namang masama eh. Dami kong troubles right now, pero happy ako. I'm such a freak... Three days in a row na ko pumapasok sa office, congratulate me! Dahil dyan sa final written warning na yan, I'm forced to go to work everyday. I know that that is my responsibility, but what's the sense of having the words "ABSENT" or "CALL IN" if you're not going to materialize it. It's my right to be absent, yun nga lang, the company has every right to terminate me. Di naman ako takot sa termination, yun nga lang, I should have a job before I could be terminated. Anyway, yung trouble ko. My friends know that I'm living with Karen's (my college bestfriend) grandmother. Super close ako sa family nya and dun sa Lola nya. Since matanda na yun, most of the time, she misplaces stuff, like golden rings, money, wallet, important stuff. Since dalawa lang kami dun sa house, malamang, ako ang pagbibintangan. I don't blame her and her family for thinking that way, it's just natural. The thing is, the feeling is just so ugly. Pwede mo kong pagbintangan na mang-aagaw ng boyfriend, nag-cheat sa exams, at lahat ng sinabi ko sa buhay ko ay pawang kathang isip lamang, pero putcha, di ako mangdurugas! That idea is just so absurd! So, here's the deal. Minen has a house, but she's not living there coz she's living with her sister. She said that I could rent her place. I really, really felt bad that I do wanna move out of my house this week, most probably on Friday. I already talked to my mom about this. Before I moved in to my current house, sinabi na ni Mama yun, of course, I'm hard headed. My mom told me to move out and get a new house. Sobrang okay nga kay Mama, I mean, di nya ko pinapauwi sa amin. Not that they don't want me there, it's just that my mom understands that I really love my independence at dahil 2 years na kong living alone, since I graduated from college, magiging mahirap ang transition if I return to our house. Excited na talaga ako, like this is MAJOR INDEPENDENCE.... Yun nga lang big big responsibility din to. Budget and stuff. Basta kaya ko to! The house has two rooms, I might be looking for a housemate para may kahati sa expenses. I'm asking Nikki if he wants to join me, he said he'll still think about it, monetary din yung reason. Meron daw pinasabog na bus today, Abu Sayyaf daw ang may gawa. Gusto ko pa naman sanang mag-bus today dahil taxi girl ako e, para makatipid. Buti na lang, 12 am ang shift ko, nakakatakot nito pag uwi ko. It's just so funny, kasi si Rommel pa ang nag-inform sa kin and asked me where I was, family ko, dineadma ako! I just think na they have so much confidence na I'll always be alright, minsan, nakakainis na! =) Di ko alam kung talgang confident lang sila sa kin or they don't care na. Sabi nga pala ni Nikki, wala na daw si Ipis, confirmed na nga kasi narinig ko transferred na daw sya sa Cendant. Oh well, kaya pala di ako na-transfer dun... he he he.... At least nabawasan ang mga bantamweight ipis dito! Irita talaga ako sa bitch na yun! I'll be sending my resume to other companies, since I'll be renting a house, I need more money! I'll be applying sa British Council, mukhang malaki ang salary dun, kais naman dati I was supposed to apply sa Australian Embassy, sa sobrang busy ko, di ko na nagawa. Correction pala, di daw ako stupid sabi ni Reich, hard headed lang... La muna siguro akong isusulat tungkol kay Rommel, nagsasawa na ko ng kakasulat tungkol sa kanya, basta sana next time na may isusulat ako about him, good news na at di na close friend ang status ko. he he he.... Sayang, P38,000.00 ang sweldo nun. Three days in a row na kong pumapasok... tired na ko....

Valentines.....

2005-02-13T10:47:00.000-08:00

Dahil la akong oras mag-blog today, just passing by to say Happy Valentines, sana, happy talaga!

Rommel Chronicles2

2005-02-12T16:24:00.000-08:00

Another installment for my Rommel Chronicles. Nasa taxi ako kagabi, on my way to the
office, the comments of my friends are swimming on my head, iba-ibang comments. May
nakakatuwa, may ego booster, may sobrang totoo na napapa-isip talaga ako. Here are some of them:

Alfie (take note... bading ito): Des, wala syang b---g! Mas may b----g pa ko dyan e!
Des D. (pareho ko ding martir): Des, isa syang malaking taong etits!
Leah: Eh praning pala yan eh! Abnormal....
May commitment phobia yan
Des, iwanan mo na.(Later on, eto ang sabi nya, refuting herself)
Des, baka talagang confused pa din yan sa feelings nya sa yo.
Nikki: Girl, he's a jerk. Dump him.
Chad: natural, ang trademark nyang AAAAHHHH!!!
Karen: Ewan ko ba sa yo... Pipili ka lang ng kapalit ganyan pa...
Jaycee: silence... expected from Jaycee
Reich: Sabi ni Reich, stupid daw ako eh...

Nagsasabi na naman sya ng "I Love you" after making it clear to him that he should not say that unless he means it. Does that mean that he does mean it? He's still calling me everyday, minsan paglalabas pa sya ng bahay, like if magba-basketball sya, or kung iinom with his friends. I don't get it, why he does that if we're not in a relationship. Kagabi, nung nag-iinuman sila ng mga barkada nya, after the spree, he even called me to say that he's home na. He really confuses me. Sabi kasi ni Des, yun na daw yun e, as in girlfriend nya na daw ako, dahil lang sa na-trauma na sya kaya ayaw nya ng i-confirm pa. I don't know. Basta, kung ano man ang meron kami ngayon, yun na yun. Ang weird, it's so not me to stay in this kind of relationship-status-state-whatever. He's still calling me everyday, sa landline and cellphone. I asked him if nasa Manila ba sya kasi ang gastos ng long distance calls. And here's what he said... This girl Ayds yung name, has been giving him phone cards. I asked why, sabi nya it's because this girl wants him to call her. I asked kung taga-Manila yung girl, taga-Olongapo daw. I asked why is she giving him a card, sabi nya, dahil daw sa natutuwa daw sa kanya tong girl na to. Tapos, sa kin naman nya gingamit yung card. Hay naku.... he really has a way with girls!

Forecast ng dalawang loka-loka

2005-02-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

Addict na ata ako sa blog. Lately kasi, talagang updatded ang blog ko. Di naman siguro addicted, may oras lang kasi to update. I was thinking and one of the good things that came up because of this Rommel thing is that I got reunited with my really cose friends way back in high school and found new friends who are giving me advice about my dillema. Leah and I met up on the 7th of Feb, she dropped by my house and hung around. Since Chinese New Year ek ek chuvanesh, for kicks, we amde a forecast for each other. And here's what she did for me:

1. Career growth> aalis ka sa PS kasi may mas mgandang opportunity sa ibang company... magiging TRAINER ka! (yehey......)
2.Papayat ka na Des! Yung ideal weight mo, maa-achieve mo na!
3. Mas lalo kang magiging COSMO Girl... he he he....
4. Matututo ka ng mag-tootoot.... (Gosh)
5. Dahil marunong ka na, eventually mag-eend relationship nyo ni Rommel (sorry! di ko talaga sya feel for you!)
6. Magkakaron ka na ng bagong love partner... for real na sya!
7.Super duper Rommel wants you back
8. Aayaw ka na talaga kay Rommel! Kasi, the "bigger, the better" yung isa.... he he he....
9.Magpapa-tattoo ka na
10.Dahil inspired ka, mag-aaral ka ng mabuti
11.Yayaman ka this year
12. Friends pa din tayo....

Magkatotoo kaya.... hmmmmm......

trashy....

2005-02-12T07:43:00.000-08:00

I feel like garbage today. Pagod talaga. Dito na naman ako sa wretched office na to, sasagot na naman sa mga potang Amerikano na kuha ng kuha ng service di naman marunong magbasa. Lapit na namang mag-Valentines. Feels so weird, ewan, never naman talaga kasing naging big deal ang Valentine's sa kin kahit na attached pa ko. Anyway.... inis talaga ako s isang taga-CS. I'll call her ipis. Kasi boses ipis sya, mukha syang ipis at I think, utak ipis din sya! Har har har.... Here are the details: So, the first time that I was moved right here at CS, I was introduced to Ipis by Chad. Kasi si Ipis, "law graduate"... whatever. She asked me where am I taking my law degree, syempre, ever loyal sa UST, I said na I had one year sa UST then now, I transferred to San Sebastian. And she was like: "Ay, ba't dun? Dapat nag-Lyceum ka!" Yeah right! Wala akong problema sa mga taga-Lyceum, nag-test nga ako dun eh, yun nga lang, she made me look like ang stupid ko kasi di ako nag-Lyceum at mas pinili kong mag-Baste! Hello! Ang yabang mo eh, wala ngang QPI dun, kahit 66% ata ang average mo eh matalino ka pa din at di ka pa din naki-kick out. Puta! Irita talaga tong ipis na to! She's so lud, like parang ina-announce nya everyday kung ano ang nangyari sa buhay nya like nung one time daw eh nasa parking lot daw sila ng bf nya, pinauna daw syang maglakad nung tipaklong nyang bf and she yelled with all her might that her bf said na ang ganda nyang maglakad. Pinangangalandakan din nya na bullimic sya. I am for freedom of expression, but hey, you also have the right to privacy. Eto pa, one time pumasok ito sa office na mukhang Grimace, mukhang Grimace dahil naka-suit na purple. She's whining that she looks weird kasi naka-corporate attire sya... whatever... she's just fishing for compliments. Potah, gusto kong sabihin or itanong na "Ngayon ka lang ba nakapag-suot ng suit? Ako kasi sawa na kasi yan ang suot ko araw-araw sa school." Eto pa, minsan, papasok sa office, tatanong sa lahat kung mukha ba syang haggard, para lang mapansin na mukha syang hag kasi sa review classes nya... hay naku, mga tao talaga! Kaya ang perception tuloy ng ibang tao sa lawyers at law students e mayayayabang. Sa totoo lang, etong si ipis, la pa naman syang maipagyayabang. In the first place, barrister pa lang sya, di pa sya nakakapag-bar. Ang ironic kasi pinangangalandakan nya na reviewee sya. So if di sya bumagsak ng bar or ng subjects nya, she should have taken the bar last September. I mean di ako nagmamagaling, baka one of these days e may ibagsak din akong subject, my point is, she should not be bragging about herself. Taking up law is something, I admit that. But that does not give you a license to brag. Ang tingin ko kasi dyan, doctor, engineer, teacher, abogado o kahit sino ka pa, wala kang karapatang ipagyabang yun. It's really just a matter of choice. Pinili mong mag-aral ng law, ang iba hindi. Yun lang yun. Iba-iba lang tayo ng ginusto sa buhay, iba ang gusto nila, iba ang sa yo, di mo maipagyayabang ang isang bagay na di naman gusto ng iba. Anyway... di ako nakapasok sa school kanina, 9am kasi pasok ko, I know na di na naman ako magigising so nagpagising ako kay Rommel when he called me last night. E lasing na yun, pero I still took my chance... ayun, dahil 3:30 na ko nakatulog sa kakabasa ng mga murder case (like merong binaril sa ulo, the killers ripped open his body and cooked his liver as their pulutan, his intestines were made necklace hung around the victim's brother... eeeew!), di din ako nagising on my own. At tinawagan ako nung magaling na lalake na yun ng 9am na! Gusto ko na ulit pumayat, I'm back to doing 150 crunches per day, I don't eat much right now. Gusto ko na talagang mabawasan ang weight ko sayang kasi yung clothes ko. Nung college, pag nagpupunta kami ng mall ng mga barkada ko, they let me try out clothes, pang-model pa kasi ang body ko nun (I swear! No kidding!) Lunch ko na, ang aga nakakainis... Ciao muna!

nakakaumay

2005-02-11T03:13:00.000-08:00

Totoo.... Nakakaumay na talagang mag-calls. Motivation to go to work? Di na nga pera eh... Friends... Yeah. Nikki would be leaving, si Dianne, Des, Minen, Chad, Roland, Mama Mels na lang ang andun. Sad. Feeling ko tuloy graduation day. Usap kami ni Rommel today, tuloy na ang date sa 19. Hay, gusto ko na ng ibang job, nag-submit na nga ako ng resumes eh. Nag-text si Rommel: Be,tnx sa lahat... Yeah, right. Di ko alam how to react. I do believe that he is sincere, pero kung nagsinungaling na kasi sayo ang isang tao, mahirap na ulit paniwalaan. Saw Fej yesterday, tumaba ang bakla. I miss the good old days sa Experian.... Hay....