bagong buhay.........

My life has been out of circulation for quite some time now. Busy kasi so better
get ready for a really long blog entry . I'll just have subsections of the days that
I was not able to write para mas organized. By the way, I'm officially closing my
Rommel Chronicles, la kasing sense, almost everything I write about is all about
him.

Thursday....

After our shift, Minen and I checked out her place, and the house is pretty cool.
I'm really excited about moving in, that will be on Saturday. While I am talking to
Minen about the house, Rommel texted me, gamitin ko daw yung Sun ko then call
him. Since I was busy talking to her, Rommel texted me once again asking if may
landline ba dun, there is, so I gave him the number. He called, unang sabi pa niya
eh... "Ba't ka ganyan? Parang di ka na interesado sa kin?" I was shocked, pero keri
lang. He asked about the specifics of the house, like if may tiles ba, how big are
the rooms, engineering stuff.

Friday.....

It was Jaycee's birthday. I was not finished packing my things, I realized,
sobrang dami ko na palang gamit. My mom and I are having troubles finding a
vehicle where I could load up all my stuff, kasi yung sasakyan sa bahay, ginamit
ng officemate ng tito ko. When I oved in sa San Juan 2 years ago, I only have a
few stuff na nagkasya sa cab, but now, grabe, I could fill up a jeep! Jaycee
texted me, asking me to go to Glorietta for his birthday. I bought him a CareBears
stuffed keychain, yung pareho naming gusto, si GoodLuck Bear. I was running late,
when I arrived at our meeting place, andun na si Nikki and Dandee, as well as
Jaycee of course. Putcha, di pala treat ni Jaycee! Tapos, punta kami ng
SuperBowl. We're aslo waiting for Jaycee's high school friends, a gay couple. I
feel like I'm Maricel Soriano, being surrounded by gay friends. But they are
funnny, witty, nice people. We ate a lot of food, it was som much fun coz I really
missed these people. When Jaycee's friends arrived, Jaycee finally gave in and
paid the bill. Nikki, Dandee and I rode the cab together, we dropped off Dandee
at Shaw Blvd, Nikki and I went home, well separately of course. It was a fun day.

Saturday....

The Day....Moving out of helll....Welcome heaven! Woke up really early to finish packing my stuff. My mom, Tito Duds and my bother arrived with a jeep. All of them are really
pised off because I have lots of things. So, we went to Pasig and as what I
expected, we got lost. But then again, we arrived at our destination. Inayos na
namin lahat ng gamit ko, I was really excited, but also tired. I cleaned up the
house, the CR and my bedroom. This is also the day that Rommel would be coming
over. At 6pm, we met at Galleria coz we're gonna do some grocery. We bought a
lot, ayaw nya ngang mag-cart so basket yung bitbit nya, e sa dami ng binili namin,
napilitan na syang mag-cart. I heard him murmuring, saying "Mom ko, di
pinapagawa sa akin to" and I was just laughing to myself. When we arrived at my
house, we had dinner and some usual stuff that we do. Sarap pala ng feeling when
you're with someone you love in a very unguarded moment since kaming dalawa
lang sa house. I cooked for him at syempre magaling akong magluto so bilib na
naman sya sa kin. Wifey talaga, he he he.... super daming sweet moments talaga.
During that day, di ko na nga lang inisip na meron syang ibang girls, para di
ma-spoil yung moment. That night, I saw messages on his cellphone, daming girls na
naman. Nawala na nga si Claire, meron namang Aydz (I searched for her sa
Friendster, chaka talaga! She's a caregiver sa Canada... ho hum...), merong Jane,
basta, 4 na girls yun. So, five na kami. Hay.... That night, nag-iinarte na nga ako,
tampo-tampo ever, bato-bato ng unan sa wall. Inis talaga ako nun. He asked me if
may problema daw ba dahil super sungit ko nun, I said, wala. Pero that night,
sinumpong na naman sya ng pagiging sweet nya. We were listening to my CD and
pareho pala naming favorite yung "You'll Be Safe Here" of RiverMaya. It's not
that nagpapa-cute ako or something pero just for conversation's sake, I told him
that once I told Nikki that if a guy would actually sing that song for me, I'll marry
that guy tomorrow. And Rommel was like "Grabe ka naman, 'be" And I was thinking, naku, baka isipin nya nag OA ko. And then Rommel said... "Eh di ko nga kabisado lyrics nyan eh..." Major aaawww (Reich, pwede ka ng kiligin!) So if kabisado nya yung lyrics, he would sing that for me. Another cute thing, well, some people might not find this cute, but since he was not able to bring his clothes, he wore my tshirt and shorts, he even askde me to shave his 2-day old stuble. But of course, may dark side na naman ang story ko.... To be continued..........

Rommel Chronicles3

I know that I said that I wouldn't be writing about Rommel, but what the heck. Consider this as one of the Rommel Chronicles. He's really turned into a mushy person lately. Well, utang ko to sa pagsabog ng bus sa Ayala. He was the one who texted me about the bombing at Ayala. Tinanong nya ko if I pass by that road and if I ride the bus. Deadma! Kahit hindi ako dumadaan dun eh, sinasabi ko na dumadaan ako dun, pa-effect lang ba. Kaya ngayon, tinatanong nya tuloy ako if nakauwi na ba ako and if nakauwi na ba ako eh I should text him.

Also, after he said that close friend nya daw ako, he never says I love you anymore and he's not texting that to me. Pero lately, he's been texting me I love you's and this time nagtetext din sya nung "mwah". I even told him not to say I love you if he does not mean it. One time, he was so drunk, he texted I love you a couple of times. They say that when a guy is drunk, he is more sincere and that he lets his guard down. So does that mean that he means what he says? I also know that guys do the craziest stuff when they are drunk. So what's the real score.

I am feling guilty today. At around 10pm, he called me and asked me if I am going to work, I said yes of course. He said that he's right here at Manila coz his aunt ask him to come. And I was like, geez! Mag-absent na daw ako and I said that I really have to go to work reminding him that I already have a final written warning. I was really on the verge of calling forcedesk, yun nga lang, I still have to go to work coz I need a job lalo na ngayon na maglilipat pa ako ng bahay.

One time, Rommel and I are talking over the phone. I was about to hang up, but he's not putting the phone down. I asked him why does he wanna hang up and asked him why. Sabi ko pa, "May hinihintay ka ba na sasabihin ko? Are you waiting for me to say I love you?" (eto na naman at nag-morph ako sa pgiging NBI agent). And he replied, "Syempre, kahit paano....", I didn't let him finish his sentnce and said I love you. He said I love you too. Was my prayer answered?

Nikki... tribute ko sa yo

Naku, boses bakla ako today (no pun intended!). My voice is so nasal and I so hate it! 4th day na kong pumapasok sa work, maybe that's why. Nikki went to the office this morning to file his resignation. When I saw him, I was on the verge of crying. It's really sad that one of your closest friends would be leaving the company. Sad, sad, sad. Des and I waited for Nikki and accompanied him sa Philam to process his resignation. Sad talaga, potah! Tagal naming naging friends nito, akala ko masungit, well, masungit talaga, pero syempre friend nya ko kaya nagsusungitan kami. =)

I remember those times nung teammates pa kami at andun kami nakaupo dun sa isolated area sa 29th. Kain kami ng kain, yung trash can namin, puno ng basura ng mga pagkain namin at kadiri dahil nagkakaron pa ng fruit flies sa station namin!

We talk about childhood stuff like we grew up together. When we hear old songs, alam kaagad namin kung anong grade kami nung elementary or kung anong year kami nung high school nung nauso nun, as if we came from the same school (from Lourdes sya, St. Joseph naman ako, parehong Franciscans). Trip din naming pag-usapan ang movies, expression nung panahon namin, mga taong epal, kupal, makapal, salitang balbal at kung ano-ano pa! Favorite namin ang Pringles at Piknik, pero na-addict kami talaga sa Clover Chips! Color yellow na nga madalas mga daliri namin.

Every Sunday naman, nung uso pa ang email processing at la pang email team, madalas, pinag-eemail kami ni Step. Major chikahan, complete with sounds kasi dati, pwede pa ding magdala ng cd's. We like the same kind of music, we like Madonna. At dahil dun kami sa isolated stations nakaupo, we can do evrything that we want, we even put customers on hold to doze off a bit!

Masarap kausap yan si Nikki pagdating sa okrayan. Enjoy kasama pag lafangan. Too bad, nalipat din sya ng team, but we still see each other, nung nasa retention ako, pag break and lunch. Kahit nung nalipat ako sa CS, we don't follow our luch sked, together with Jaycee at mega-McDo kami. We also go out pag restdays, pero lately, di na din ako nakakasama kasi busy-busyhan sa school.

God, I'll really miss Nikki. He's the person that you can talk to about everything under the sun...er... in our case. moon and stars. Nikki is an intelligent person, he is never judgmental. He'll take you for who you are and still love you. He accepts my stupidity and hard headedness. Teaches me lots of stuff, stuff that only Nikki and I should know. *evil wink*

Nikki is like a sister (?) that I never had. My confidant, my chika friend, my lafang friend, mall friend, movie friend... basta, my really really good friend. We are the bitches of the 29th floor and without Nikki, things will never be the same again.

Bye my friend... You'll be in greener pastures... You're so lucky! Always keep in touch. Love you girl!

dear diary... la na kong maisip na title eh!

Putik, na-addict na nga ata ako sa blogging. Wala namang masama eh. Dami kong troubles right now, pero happy ako. I'm such a freak... Three days in a row na ko pumapasok sa office, congratulate me! Dahil dyan sa final written warning na yan, I'm forced to go to work everyday. I know that that is my responsibility, but what's the sense of having the words "ABSENT" or "CALL IN" if you're not going to materialize it. It's my right to be absent, yun nga lang, the company has every right to terminate me. Di naman ako takot sa termination, yun nga lang, I should have a job before I could be terminated. Anyway, yung trouble ko. My friends know that I'm living with Karen's (my college bestfriend) grandmother. Super close ako sa family nya and dun sa Lola nya. Since matanda na yun, most of the time, she misplaces stuff, like golden rings, money, wallet, important stuff. Since dalawa lang kami dun sa house, malamang, ako ang pagbibintangan. I don't blame her and her family for thinking that way, it's just natural. The thing is, the feeling is just so ugly. Pwede mo kong pagbintangan na mang-aagaw ng boyfriend, nag-cheat sa exams, at lahat ng sinabi ko sa buhay ko ay pawang kathang isip lamang, pero putcha, di ako mangdurugas! That idea is just so absurd! So, here's the deal. Minen has a house, but she's not living there coz she's living with her sister. She said that I could rent her place. I really, really felt bad that I do wanna move out of my house this week, most probably on Friday. I already talked to my mom about this. Before I moved in to my current house, sinabi na ni Mama yun, of course, I'm hard headed. My mom told me to move out and get a new house. Sobrang okay nga kay Mama, I mean, di nya ko pinapauwi sa amin. Not that they don't want me there, it's just that my mom understands that I really love my independence at dahil 2 years na kong living alone, since I graduated from college, magiging mahirap ang transition if I return to our house. Excited na talaga ako, like this is MAJOR INDEPENDENCE.... Yun nga lang big big responsibility din to. Budget and stuff. Basta kaya ko to! The house has two rooms, I might be looking for a housemate para may kahati sa expenses. I'm asking Nikki if he wants to join me, he said he'll still think about it, monetary din yung reason. Meron daw pinasabog na bus today, Abu Sayyaf daw ang may gawa. Gusto ko pa naman sanang mag-bus today dahil taxi girl ako e, para makatipid. Buti na lang, 12 am ang shift ko, nakakatakot nito pag uwi ko. It's just so funny, kasi si Rommel pa ang nag-inform sa kin and asked me where I was, family ko, dineadma ako! I just think na they have so much confidence na I'll always be alright, minsan, nakakainis na! =) Di ko alam kung talgang confident lang sila sa kin or they don't care na. Sabi nga pala ni Nikki, wala na daw si Ipis, confirmed na nga kasi narinig ko transferred na daw sya sa Cendant. Oh well, kaya pala di ako na-transfer dun... he he he.... At least nabawasan ang mga bantamweight ipis dito! Irita talaga ako sa bitch na yun! I'll be sending my resume to other companies, since I'll be renting a house, I need more money! I'll be applying sa British Council, mukhang malaki ang salary dun, kais naman dati I was supposed to apply sa Australian Embassy, sa sobrang busy ko, di ko na nagawa. Correction pala, di daw ako stupid sabi ni Reich, hard headed lang... La muna siguro akong isusulat tungkol kay Rommel, nagsasawa na ko ng kakasulat tungkol sa kanya, basta sana next time na may isusulat ako about him, good news na at di na close friend ang status ko. he he he.... Sayang, P38,000.00 ang sweldo nun. Three days in a row na kong pumapasok... tired na ko....

Valentines.....

Dahil la akong oras mag-blog today, just passing by to say Happy Valentines, sana, happy talaga!

Rommel Chronicles2

Another installment for my Rommel Chronicles. Nasa taxi ako kagabi, on my way to the
office, the comments of my friends are swimming on my head, iba-ibang comments. May
nakakatuwa, may ego booster, may sobrang totoo na napapa-isip talaga ako. Here are some of them:

Alfie (take note... bading ito): Des, wala syang b---g! Mas may b----g pa ko dyan e!
Des D. (pareho ko ding martir): Des, isa syang malaking taong etits!
Leah: Eh praning pala yan eh! Abnormal....
May commitment phobia yan
Des, iwanan mo na.(Later on, eto ang sabi nya, refuting herself)
Des, baka talagang confused pa din yan sa feelings nya sa yo.
Nikki: Girl, he's a jerk. Dump him.
Chad: natural, ang trademark nyang AAAAHHHH!!!
Karen: Ewan ko ba sa yo... Pipili ka lang ng kapalit ganyan pa...
Jaycee: silence... expected from Jaycee
Reich: Sabi ni Reich, stupid daw ako eh...

Nagsasabi na naman sya ng "I Love you" after making it clear to him that he should not say that unless he means it. Does that mean that he does mean it? He's still calling me everyday, minsan paglalabas pa sya ng bahay, like if magba-basketball sya, or kung iinom with his friends. I don't get it, why he does that if we're not in a relationship. Kagabi, nung nag-iinuman sila ng mga barkada nya, after the spree, he even called me to say that he's home na. He really confuses me. Sabi kasi ni Des, yun na daw yun e, as in girlfriend nya na daw ako, dahil lang sa na-trauma na sya kaya ayaw nya ng i-confirm pa. I don't know. Basta, kung ano man ang meron kami ngayon, yun na yun. Ang weird, it's so not me to stay in this kind of relationship-status-state-whatever. He's still calling me everyday, sa landline and cellphone. I asked him if nasa Manila ba sya kasi ang gastos ng long distance calls. And here's what he said... This girl Ayds yung name, has been giving him phone cards. I asked why, sabi nya it's because this girl wants him to call her. I asked kung taga-Manila yung girl, taga-Olongapo daw. I asked why is she giving him a card, sabi nya, dahil daw sa natutuwa daw sa kanya tong girl na to. Tapos, sa kin naman nya gingamit yung card. Hay naku.... he really has a way with girls!

Forecast ng dalawang loka-loka

Addict na ata ako sa blog. Lately kasi, talagang updatded ang blog ko. Di naman siguro addicted, may oras lang kasi to update. I was thinking and one of the good things that came up because of this Rommel thing is that I got reunited with my really cose friends way back in high school and found new friends who are giving me advice about my dillema. Leah and I met up on the 7th of Feb, she dropped by my house and hung around. Since Chinese New Year ek ek chuvanesh, for kicks, we amde a forecast for each other. And here's what she did for me:

1. Career growth> aalis ka sa PS kasi may mas mgandang opportunity sa ibang company... magiging TRAINER ka! (yehey......)
2.Papayat ka na Des! Yung ideal weight mo, maa-achieve mo na!
3. Mas lalo kang magiging COSMO Girl... he he he....
4. Matututo ka ng mag-tootoot.... (Gosh)
5. Dahil marunong ka na, eventually mag-eend relationship nyo ni Rommel (sorry! di ko talaga sya feel for you!)
6. Magkakaron ka na ng bagong love partner... for real na sya!
7.Super duper Rommel wants you back
8. Aayaw ka na talaga kay Rommel! Kasi, the "bigger, the better" yung isa.... he he he....
9.Magpapa-tattoo ka na
10.Dahil inspired ka, mag-aaral ka ng mabuti
11.Yayaman ka this year
12. Friends pa din tayo....

Magkatotoo kaya.... hmmmmm......

trashy....

I feel like garbage today. Pagod talaga. Dito na naman ako sa wretched office na to, sasagot na naman sa mga potang Amerikano na kuha ng kuha ng service di naman marunong magbasa. Lapit na namang mag-Valentines. Feels so weird, ewan, never naman talaga kasing naging big deal ang Valentine's sa kin kahit na attached pa ko. Anyway.... inis talaga ako s isang taga-CS. I'll call her ipis. Kasi boses ipis sya, mukha syang ipis at I think, utak ipis din sya! Har har har.... Here are the details: So, the first time that I was moved right here at CS, I was introduced to Ipis by Chad. Kasi si Ipis, "law graduate"... whatever. She asked me where am I taking my law degree, syempre, ever loyal sa UST, I said na I had one year sa UST then now, I transferred to San Sebastian. And she was like: "Ay, ba't dun? Dapat nag-Lyceum ka!" Yeah right! Wala akong problema sa mga taga-Lyceum, nag-test nga ako dun eh, yun nga lang, she made me look like ang stupid ko kasi di ako nag-Lyceum at mas pinili kong mag-Baste! Hello! Ang yabang mo eh, wala ngang QPI dun, kahit 66% ata ang average mo eh matalino ka pa din at di ka pa din naki-kick out. Puta! Irita talaga tong ipis na to! She's so lud, like parang ina-announce nya everyday kung ano ang nangyari sa buhay nya like nung one time daw eh nasa parking lot daw sila ng bf nya, pinauna daw syang maglakad nung tipaklong nyang bf and she yelled with all her might that her bf said na ang ganda nyang maglakad. Pinangangalandakan din nya na bullimic sya. I am for freedom of expression, but hey, you also have the right to privacy. Eto pa, one time pumasok ito sa office na mukhang Grimace, mukhang Grimace dahil naka-suit na purple. She's whining that she looks weird kasi naka-corporate attire sya... whatever... she's just fishing for compliments. Potah, gusto kong sabihin or itanong na "Ngayon ka lang ba nakapag-suot ng suit? Ako kasi sawa na kasi yan ang suot ko araw-araw sa school." Eto pa, minsan, papasok sa office, tatanong sa lahat kung mukha ba syang haggard, para lang mapansin na mukha syang hag kasi sa review classes nya... hay naku, mga tao talaga! Kaya ang perception tuloy ng ibang tao sa lawyers at law students e mayayayabang. Sa totoo lang, etong si ipis, la pa naman syang maipagyayabang. In the first place, barrister pa lang sya, di pa sya nakakapag-bar. Ang ironic kasi pinangangalandakan nya na reviewee sya. So if di sya bumagsak ng bar or ng subjects nya, she should have taken the bar last September. I mean di ako nagmamagaling, baka one of these days e may ibagsak din akong subject, my point is, she should not be bragging about herself. Taking up law is something, I admit that. But that does not give you a license to brag. Ang tingin ko kasi dyan, doctor, engineer, teacher, abogado o kahit sino ka pa, wala kang karapatang ipagyabang yun. It's really just a matter of choice. Pinili mong mag-aral ng law, ang iba hindi. Yun lang yun. Iba-iba lang tayo ng ginusto sa buhay, iba ang gusto nila, iba ang sa yo, di mo maipagyayabang ang isang bagay na di naman gusto ng iba. Anyway... di ako nakapasok sa school kanina, 9am kasi pasok ko, I know na di na naman ako magigising so nagpagising ako kay Rommel when he called me last night. E lasing na yun, pero I still took my chance... ayun, dahil 3:30 na ko nakatulog sa kakabasa ng mga murder case (like merong binaril sa ulo, the killers ripped open his body and cooked his liver as their pulutan, his intestines were made necklace hung around the victim's brother... eeeew!), di din ako nagising on my own. At tinawagan ako nung magaling na lalake na yun ng 9am na! Gusto ko na ulit pumayat, I'm back to doing 150 crunches per day, I don't eat much right now. Gusto ko na talagang mabawasan ang weight ko sayang kasi yung clothes ko. Nung college, pag nagpupunta kami ng mall ng mga barkada ko, they let me try out clothes, pang-model pa kasi ang body ko nun (I swear! No kidding!) Lunch ko na, ang aga nakakainis... Ciao muna!

nakakaumay

Totoo.... Nakakaumay na talagang mag-calls. Motivation to go to work? Di na nga pera eh... Friends... Yeah. Nikki would be leaving, si Dianne, Des, Minen, Chad, Roland, Mama Mels na lang ang andun. Sad. Feeling ko tuloy graduation day. Usap kami ni Rommel today, tuloy na ang date sa 19. Hay, gusto ko na ng ibang job, nag-submit na nga ako ng resumes eh. Nag-text si Rommel: Be,tnx sa lahat... Yeah, right. Di ko alam how to react. I do believe that he is sincere, pero kung nagsinungaling na kasi sayo ang isang tao, mahirap na ulit paniwalaan. Saw Fej yesterday, tumaba ang bakla. I miss the good old days sa Experian.... Hay....

Song of the moment

You'll Be Safe HereRivermaya
You'll be safe hereRivermaya(words and music: rico blanco)
Nobody knowsJust why we're hereCould it be fateOr random circumstanceAt the right placeAt the right timeTwo roads intertwine
And if the universe conspiredTo meld our livesTo make usFuel and fireThen knowWhere ever you will beSo too shall i be
Chorus:
Close your eyesDry your tears'coz when nothing seems clearYou'll be safe here
From the sheer weightOf your doubts and fearsWeary heartYou'll be safe here
Remember how we laughedUntil we criedAt the most stupid thingsLike we were so highBut love was all that we were onWe belong
And though the world wouldNever understandThis unlikely unionAnd why it still standsSomeday we will be set free.Pray and believe
Chorus:
When the light disappearsAnd when this world's insincereYou'll be safe hereWhen nobody hears you screamI'll scream with youYou'll be safe here
Save your eyesFrom your tearsWhen everything's unclearYou'll be safe here
From the sheer weightOf your doubts and fearsWounded heart
When the light disappearsAnd when this world's insincereYou'll be safe here
When nobody hears you screamI'll scream with youYou'll be safe here
In my armsThrough the long cold nightSleep tightYou'll be safe here
When no one understandsI'll believeYou'll be safe,You'll be safeYou'll be safe herePut your heart in my handsYou'll be safe here

Rommel Chronicles1

I'm back at the office, ang weird ng feeling, after being out of the office for 10 days! Hay naku, eto, answering machine na naman ako, pretending that I am an expert with credit reports, e credit card nga wala ako. The midterms week is one kind of a hell. Feeling ko, lahat ng liquid stuff sa katawan ko na-drain. Pero, it's actually good kasi some people say that pumayat daw ako. Well, yan ang nagagawa ng ambisyon kong kumita ng 20 thousand per hour, per client and magkaron ng acceptance fee na 100 thousand... he he he... Mukha talaga akong pera, pero at least I could say na pinaghihirapan ko to. Nakuha ko nga pala yung CD's na pina-burn ko, addicetd ako ngayon sa song ng SpongeCola, yung Crazy for You, remake of Madonna's. I really have this thing kasi about songs that were originally sung by girls, pero ni-revive ng guys na rock rock ang dating, ewan, nakaka-kilig kasi eh. Siguro dahil sa mas cheesy ang lyrics ng songs mg girls kasi, parang, tangna, pag kinantahan ako ng ganun, kasal na to bukas.Nikki will be leaving na, this time for real na to. La na din si Jaycee, Cendant na. Iniwan na ko ng soul sistahs ko... *sniff, sniff* Nikki, siguro it would be really difficult for me to find a gay-friend like Nikki, siguro I could consider him a s my bestfriend. As for me, gusto ko na ding mag-resign, but, I have to look for a job first, kais naman I'm living independently and paying for law school, no regrets naman pero it would feel heaven siguro if I could be dpendent once again. Masarap din maging independent, kahit kelan, I never depended on anybody... Yesterday was my batch's 1st year anniv at PS and I was issued a final written warning by Norvin. Yeah right... my knees are shaking... =)

Back to the Rommel Chronicles, yun nga, I felt like I'm such a loser when he said na close friends nga lang kami. I asked him why,he said that he can not say that I am his girlfriend because we both know that he is still seeing other girls. He said that it would be unfair to me if he would call me his girlfriend pero di exclusive. There, I got his point. And then I eralized, "girlfriend" is just a label, what is important is that if we do have an emotional connection. And we do, that I know and I am sure of. To understand him better, I asked him, why is he like that. Coz, he has this girlfriend, the girl's name is Rain, they were together for 3 years, and just when he was about to marry her, the girl chose her career and left for China. So, from then on, he never took girls seriously. I got it.... TRAUMA. With girls kasi, I think we can move on faster, pero would guys, the gravity is really heavy. I can not blame him for being like that, I know how he felt, you built your world around that person and then it just crumbled... bad bad bad... Sa totoo lang, naawa ako sa kanya, that really sucks big time. So, back to me being his close friend, sobrang loser talaga ng feeling ko nun. I felt like ako lang yung ganon sa earth. Then I read this article sa Cosmo and it says that meron pala talagang ganong klase ng guys, in this case, si Rommel, naging commitment phobic. So, what are we right now? Mag-M.U. siguro, if that actually exists. Di na nga ako problematic about him, I dunno. Plus, I wouldn't assume na boyfriend ko sya, hello! Sabi kasi ni Nikki, maybe the relationship was not defined. It was so defined! Confused talaga sya at nakakahawa ang confusion nya, kasi confused na din ako sa kanya. Sana talaga di na sya nag-eexert ng effort e, yung tipong deadma na lang at mahahalata mong nakikipaglaro lang sya sa yo. Pero hindi... ang gulo. Basta bahala na... He he he... Di na masyadong masakit kasi as bad as it sounds, it really started out as a rebound, and I could say na if I could make a breakdown, 65% I love him, 35% I'm just using him to get over my ex. Si Reich... sasakit na naman ang ulo nun sa kin, and I know that she is right, matigas nga ang ulo ko. May pagka-ilusyonada kasi ako, gusto kong maging kagaya ni Mandy Moore movie nyang SAVED, I don't wanna "save" him per se, I just have this thing kasi about changing poeple for good. Reich said that change mignt not be me, then let me be a part of his change. We will be seeing each other on the 19th, sigurado, I will be swayed by his sweetness an words, would treat me like a prncess and would make me feel that I am above the others. Maybe I am, maybe not. Am I happy? Definitely.

The Rommel Chronicles....

I decided that I'll have this post named the Rommel chronicles here in my blog. Kasi most of the time, tungkol din sa kanya ang posts ko. Some stuff about me that happende this week. Here, midterms week at feeling ko any minute, mamamatay na ko. Grabe ang review, di nga ako pumapasok sa office pero para ding may shift ako dahil sa kaka-basa ng mga bribery, obligations at lahat pa ng kabaliwan ko. A lot of people are asking, may college degree ka na, bakit nagpapakaloka ka pa sa pag-aaral. Honestly, di ko alam. As geeky as this one sounds, masarap mag-aral. Inisip ko, mag-LOA ako, para makapahinga naman, pero di ko kaya, magkaka-withdrawal syndrome ako. About the ATP, ayun, pareho kaming di natanggap ni Nikki. Ako understandable, kasi nga dahil dyan sa pesteng written warning na yan, pero si Nikki, pwede na ngang maging sup yun, ayaw lang nya. Disappointed talaga ako, kasi naman, gusto ko na talagang malipat ng account. Regarding the written warning policy, di ko gets. Why would they hinder reps from transferring to other accounts because of that stupid warning, e lateral move lang naman yun. I would get it if mag-aaply ako ng sup or other level, pero naman! Rep to rep lang ang habol dito! Oo nga pala, Taglish na ang blog ko, nagsawa na ko sa kaka-English. English na nga sa office, sa school, pati dito ba naman? Anyway, matagal na tong nangyari, one or two weeks ago na ata,di ko lang naisulat dito kasi mahabang kwento. Tungkol kay Rommel (as the title says....) One time, sobrang aga at nagising ako ng tawag nya. Nangulit, na-bad trip ako, syempre, numero unong mahadera ako, inaway ko. Later that afternoon, I felt a pang of guilt. Naisip ko, "Des, anong problema mo, long distance yun, bakit mo inaway?" So, I called him at their house. The first time I called, ang sabi, wala daw, so akala ko, wala lang, as in lumabas or whatever. After a few minutes, I called again and mom nya nakasagot. At eto ang conversation namin:

Des: Good afternoon po, pwede po kay Rommel?

Mommy Aguirre: Ay wala e, sino to?

Des: Si Des po, thank you na lang po....

Mommy Aguirre: Teka, taga saan ka?

Des: Taga-Manila po.

Mommy Aguirre: Kasi nasa Manila si Rommel

(eto na, na-shock na si Des ng Manila)

Des: A ok, ang sabi nya po kasi andyan sya sa Pampanga.

Mommy Aguirre: Naku wala, one month na sya dun...

(umuusok na ang ilong ko nun!)

Mommy Aguirre: Alam mo ba contact number nya or address dun, nawala ko kasi phone number dun eh....

Des, naiiyak na: Hindi po eh, thank you na lang po.

Ang gagong yun! Napaka-sinungaling. Tangna, touched na touched pa naman ako at araw-araw kung mag-long distance eh di pala long distance! So eto ako, gulung-gulo ng biglang tumawag na naman. Advice ni Alfie, ang friend kong bading, deadma, wag paalam na may alam, quiet lang hanggang sa magtaka sya kung bakit di ko sinasagot mga tawag nya at di nagrereply sa mga text. So, tumawag nga. Di ko napigilan ang pagiging imbestigadora ko, eto ang conversation:

Rommel: Hello baby....

Des: Nasan ka?

Rommel: (alam kong nagloloko lang) Andito sa Q.C., puntahan na kita sa bahay

Des: Asan ka nga?

Rommel: Bakit nga?

Des: Basta... (mukha na kong Gremlin sa galit nito)

Rommel: Nasa Pampanga.

Des: Wala ka sa Pampanga, nasa Manila ka!

Rommel: Anong Manila?

Des: Naka-usap ko mommy mo, nasa Manila ka daw (at kinuwento ko na ang usapan namin ni Mommy Aguirre)

Des: Bakit ka nagsinungaling?

Rommel: Andito nga ako sa Pampanga pero di sa bahay namin, andito ako sa Angeles!

Des: Bakit di mo sinasabi?

Rommel: Bakit mo kelangang malaman?

Des: (hanep na sagot) E ano mo ba ako?

Rommel: Ano mo ba ako?

Des: Wag mong ibalik ang tanong...

(nag-pause ng matagal, parang nagdasal muna)

Rommel: CLOSE FRIEND

Des: (ay tangna!) Fine, close friend! What are we, Fucking Buddies?

Rommel: Di kita masabing girlfriend kasi alam mo namang I'm till seeing other girls, di ba?

(hysterical na ko....)

Des: You don't fuck your close friend!

Rommel: I'll explain it to you....

Des: Whatever!

Masalimuot no? To be continued...... (kukunin ko pa yung CD na pina-burn ko, baka sarado na yung shop), may part 2 pa ito.....

song...

I was rummaging through my CD's one night and found this really cheesy CD that I have inside my box. One of the tracks is this song and it's my song for the moment for Ian, my ex....

Never Had A Dream Come True

Everybody's got somethin'

They had to leave behind

One regret from yesterday

That just seems to grow with time
There's no use lookin' back or wonderin'

How it could be now or might have been

Oh this I know but still I can't find ways

To let you go

Chorus:

I never had a dream come true

Till the day that I found you

Even though I pretend that I've moved on

You'll always be my baby I never found the words to say

You're the one I think about each day

And I know no matter

Where life takes me to

A part of me will always be with you,ooooh yea
Somewhere in my memory

I've lost all sense of time

And tomorrow can never be

'Cuz yesterday is all that fills my mind

There's no use lookin' back or wonderin'

How it should be now or might have been

Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Repeat Chorus

You'll always be the dream

That fills my head,

Yes you will, say you will, you know youwill

Oh baby

You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget

There's no use lookin' back or wonderin'

B'cuz love is a strange and funny thing

No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no!!


Oh well leting go is really hard....

kaleidescope

Right now, my mind is in a haze. I am having my midterm exams this week and I feel like in any minute, my soul will get out of my body. I am just so tired! Anyway, some thoughts... I'm thinking, maybe Jaycee is right with what he wrote at his testimonial, maybe I am like Ally McBeal. Ally is a highly delusional person. I am kinda like that. She has these really weird halluccinations (I dunno if I spelled it correctly), like she shrinks in an office chair, sometimes I also feel that way. Ally has dated a gazillion of men, just to find "The One", well, I haven't dated that much, but I am also in the kinda in the search of my "The One". Like Ally, she found Billy and lost him. Billy is the love of her life, I found the love of my life, been with him for two and a half years and lost him. Ally has a very weird life, but I admire her for her strength to move on and go on with her life, to accept new challenges. I wish I could just be like her. To move on and be strong when the going gets tough. I am at the office right now, just had an interview with Mia Posadas of HR regarding the ATP. I feel awful, the interview was really okay, but the thing is, I do have a written warning and she'll check if that already slid back, if not, I can not be transferred. I mean, what the fuck! So what if I do have a warning, if I could perform the job well at Cendant? I really hate this and really, after my midterms, I will look for another job and file for a resignation!