I am a certified stupid bitch. I am and I'm kinda giving people the right to think and call me stupid. The reason? Here it goes: Last week, Rommel called me, we're going to meet on Saturday, we talked about the usual stuff that we talk about. Then he said that he's going to tell me something and that he's hoping that I won't be mad about that. So, I said, sure, bring it on. Well, what he said is definitely a hellraiser. He said that he is still having ONS (one night stand for brevity). That, made me cry. Like, sure I know that he's into that kind of thing (1 pt. for stupidity) and when he asked me if I was disappointed, I said no because I kinda expected it. But you know, when you are expecting something and yet you don't expect that it will happen (2 pts.). He did it with 3 girls, in seperate occassions of course (and I hope so). The 2 other girls didn't hit me much coz they are unknown people, but the other one, that would be Claire, it hit me so bad. Claire is this one of a kind evil-irritating-I-would-wring-her-neck-off wanton le prostitut who's been hitting on him in their office. They did it 3 times, he said that he's just really drunk. One time is okay, fine, you were drunk, but what about the two other instances? (3 pts.) Claire is kinda pretty, I just don't know what her problem is nailing other girls' bf. I was so shocked, my eyes looked like frogs' eyes from crying and I was not able to go to school as well. He is asking me to decide, if I would still accept him or would just let him go. Honestly, I was torn between letting go of him and just make him stay. (4 pts. for stupidity) I know that I should let him go because that is the right thing to do. He cheated on me, and letting go of him would be the most logical thing for me to do. It would save me from further heartache.But I think, I should give him a chance. (5 pts.) He said that he'll really try his best to stop this thing and that he is also fed up with this kind of thing (having ONS). Because I don't know what to do. I called up friends to get their point of view. I called up Nikki, Leah, Karen, Dianne and Gracie. I know that the decision ultimately lies on my hands but at least I get the say of important people around me. Most of them say that I should dump him (well, Nikki says so!). But I think I should give him a chance. (6 pts.) I am a big believer of chances. Maybe one of the reasons why I am cool with giving him a chance is that I am hoping that I could change him and I am wishing that he would change. I totally love him, really. Like, I wouldn't bear infidelity and philandering if I do not. (7 pts.) He's such a very nice and sweet guy. I know that what I am doing would break up my heart ecventually, but I am not yet ready to let go of him. I do not want to have what-if's. Like, what-if I let go of him and then he changed? Stuff like that. So I said that I'll let him stay he thanked me, but I told him that it would be subject to some conditions, one of which is for him not to do that again, or at least try not to. I have to let go, I know that I should do that as soon possible, but a big part of me can not let go. I love him that much, or of course I am just plainly and simply stupid. So Saturday came and we spent time together and we really had a blast. But of course, the ghost of him having other girls looms while we were together. I enjoyed our Saturday and Sunday so much and I really felt that he is sincere and that he loves me. I appreciate his effort, like him going to Manila from Pampanga every now and then just to be with me, the long distance calls that I receive from him which reaches up 2 hours, or the sweet little things that he does. A playboy wouldn't do that. I mean go to Manila to spend time with me or have really costly phone bills to talk to me. I just don't know. I just hope that whatever may happen, the result will be okay or otherwise, I'll be okay with the result.
