so this is life

hay naku, i'm totally in a wreck right now. like what was written on my previous blog, i am jobless. before leaving ps, i already passed eperformax and was scheduled for the training. i was hired as a verifier for gues what? EXPERIAN! well the job is pretty easy because we would just need to verify some info and stuff, plus for a change it is an outbound account. so there, kahit reyna ng katamaran e i went through 1 week of diction, intonation and enunciation training and i learned a lot, honestly. i aced the exams and voice recordings, came friday i didn't passed daw! FUCKER di ba? my batchmates are crying, so ironic kasi i remained cool. tangina, wala akong work! my batchmate was in the room when the american client came in, she heard that my trainer was forced to drop me off the list because... i came from experian! tangina, wouldn't that be an advantage? and it dawned to me that maybe is it because i know too much about the company. tangina di ba? bad trip talaga. fine, i don't care about the time that i spent kai keri lang, i enjoyed naman kasi my batchmates are so fun to be with and i learned a lot! pero the money that i spent during the training... bummer talaga!

anyway, about rommel, i'll be leaving him... soon! kasi here's what happened... he was at my house april 2. so his pants is at the other room, i was fixing it and his cellphone dropped off from the pocket. the last time that i checked his phone, naka-insert yung globe nya na sim and naka-sim lock yun, but this time yung sun ang gamit nya. so i was able to check out his phone. sa sent messages, i read this: (1st message) i miss you baby, i love you so much (2nd message) yah, luwas ako pero uwi din ako bukas, both were sent april 1. and putcha, those were not sent to me! i saved the number sa cell ko. his money were all scattered so i put them all in his wallet only to find out that on march 22 he pawned his ring at sampaloc! march 20 we were together and he said pauwi na sya ng pampanga! so what kind of a stupid person na sa sampaloc pa magsasangla... meaning nasa manila lang talaga sya. one more thing... he said that he still doesn't have a job. but when i fixed his bag, there is this letter that says... Engr. Aguirre, please make a bid for the following construction materials... dated April 1, 2005. FUCKER! di lang sya nasa manila, he has a job as well.

that night, i can not bear the fact that i am sleeping beside him, di ko na talaga maatim na he's hugging me while we were sleeping. usually, pag sunday, he goes home at around 5 pm, pero he said that he'll be going home early, around 8 am. dati pag uwi na sya, away na to, pinipilit kong wag na syang umuwi. but that sunday, i woke up at 6am, prepared na ang breakfast and didn't ask him when he will be coming back. that time, i only ate 1 piece of bread and coffee and yun lang ang kinain ko the whole sunday. and everything dawned to me. i'm always up for the effort that he is exerting, pero wala na lahat. meaningless na. dati plus factor that he calls me sa landline about 5 times a day considering that he's at "pampanga", pero la na sa kin yun. yung message pala, he sent that to aydz, yung isang girl nya na nasa canada. and lahat talaga ng aweet stuff that he does to me, la ng meaning, kasi naisip ko, ginagawa naman din nya yun sa iba e. that night, our dinner is tilapia nd pinaghihimay nya ko sa plate ko, wala ng kilig feeling, naiinis na lang ako. i cried so much, nakakainis kasi why does he have to lie to me? i mean i'll be happy that he already has a job, plus if nasa manila sya di naman ako mag-dedemand na magkita kami everyday!

bad trip kasi tanga na nga ako, lalo nya pa kong ginagawang tanga. my bestfriend stayed over my house for a the whole week, until now pala to share my pain and i really appreciate that. monday, just to confirm, i called their house at pampanga. i was able to talk to his mom, sabi ng mom nya lumuwas na daw ng manila that morning. i asked if may job na sya, she said yes. tangina talaga. i confronted him about this and he said that no, he's at pampanga and la pa din syang work, yeah, go on, convince me.

so why am i still holding on? i would be breaking up with him, pero di ko dapat biglain. dapat dahan dahan lang kasi magkakaron ako ng withdrawal syndrome, just like what happned to me and ia. what i am doing right now is lesser text messages , walang ganang kausap and cold shoulder, pansin nya nga yun e. sabi nya di nya daw akong kayang hiwalayan, maalaga daw kasi ako. whatever. i'll do it, slowly, but surely.

dami ko pang kwento, next post na lang.................